Free Passport Photo Copies...
Eric: [Walking down a busy Philadelphia street] Free Passport Photo Copies!
Customer 1: I’ll take one please.
Eric: Yes sir....alright, here’s your copy and here’s mine. Thanks for your business.
Customer 1: Uh, what do you plan on doing with your copy?
Eric: What are you talking about? This is a copy of my passport. I’m quite the traveller. Me and my wife try to go on a trip every couple of months.
Customer 1: I’m not married.
Eric: Well, then neither am I. But we have prospects right?
Customer 1: I have a fiancee.
Eric: Yeah, she’s sweet, her parents are so amiable, I can’t wait to start a family with her.
Customer 1: This is enough, it’s my life. Sarah is my fiancee, and that is clearly my picture on the passport. Thanks for nothing. Good bye.
Eric: See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya. Just kidding, I would, and I am.
A Sargent and a General...Officer:
Eric: No my officer, but I do know who I am...
Eric: You don’t recognize me? I’m George Washington. See here’s my ID. [hands him ID]
Officer: Sir, this is just a One Dollar Bill with white-out over the real George Washington’s face and apparently your second grade class picture pasted on it with a pencil arrow pointed to your face.
Eric: I have more ID if necessary. [hands him a quarter]
Officer: Sir, this is just a disc of playdoh with a stick figure etched out of it.
Eric: But its clearly me.
Officer: [into his radio] I am gonna need some backup.
Eric: Sgt. Peterson reporting for duty.
Eric Wakes Up in the Hospital...Eric:
Nurse: You’re in South County General Hospital.
Eric: Hmm, my head hurts. Who are you?
Nurse: Nurse Williams
Eric: Wait, who am I?
Nurse: I have no clue, you apparently were just found on the side of the road, you came in with no identification.
Eric: Hot Damn!
Instant Messaging with Father...EricChevy88:
PaChevy34: Eric, this has gone far enough, you cannot have my identity, I am ur father for god’s sake.
EricChevy88: Who is this god person you speak of? What’s his social security number.
PaChevy34: Don’t be a fool eric...god doesn’t have a social security number.
EricChevy88: hmm, interesting...BRB.
[EricChevy88 has signed off.]
Instant Messaging with Heavenly Father...God88:
PaChevy34: Oh c’mon Eric...
God88: Who is eric? this is god, didn’t we go to college together?
PaChevy34: Eric, this is ridiculous, I am going to tell your mother.
God88: Wait, what’s her maiden name again?
[PaChevy34 has signed off.]