Introductions

Beth: Hi, I’m Beth.

God: I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE.

Beth: It’s a pleasure.

 

Getting to Know You

Beth: Hey everyone, this is...

God: I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.

Judy: Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?

God: I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END.

Frank: I got dibs on the MIDDLE! Heh heh heh

God: ...

Frank: Sorry.

 

Monopoly

Judy: Okay, does anyone mind if I’m the racecar?

Frank: I call the hat.

Beth: I’m the battleship!

God: I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA.

Judy: Sorry, God, there aren’t any pieces like that and you can only be one.

God: I AM THE FIRST AND THE LAST.

Frank: We’ll decide turns later, God.

Beth: C’mon, God. Pick a real piece so we can start.

God: I AM.

Frank: Right, so God’s the shoe.

 

Drive-Thru

God: WOE TO YOU, YOU WHO ARE FULL NOW! FOR YOU WILL BE HUNGRY. BLESSED ARE YOU WHO HUNGER NOW. FOR YOU WILL BE FILLED.

Customer: Great. So, does that mean I can order from you now?

God: YOU SAY IT, BECAUSE I AM.

Customer: Okay, two hamburgers, two fries and a large coke, please. Oh, and can you take off the onions?

God: ALL AUTHORITY HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME IN HEAVEN AND ON EARTH. AND I WILL REMOVE THE ONIONS.

Customer: Thanks.