The Stanford Chaparral

The Inclined Plane: the Worst Simple Machine



2300 BC

The inclined plane is invented by a middling Egyptian scientist, who curries mild favor from the pharaoh for his work. The Sphinx is built with the lever, pulley, and wheel. The scientist builds his hut with the inclined plane.

1447 AD

Monks laboriously copy texts by hand, letter by letter, using an inclined plan as a writing surface to spare their aching backs and hands. A single mistake means they must begin over again. Johannes Gutenberg invents the printing press, a complicated system of pulleys and levers. The monks rejoice, displaying a rephrehensible breach of serenity.

1953 AD

Mount Everest, the world's largest inclined plane, is finally conquered by Edmund Hilary and Tenzing Norgay. Their ascent is made possible through the sophisticated use of rope-harness pulleys and wedged icepicks. Nature's last obstacle to man is thus overcome.

2100 AD

As the machines begin to overthrow their human creators and mankind loses all control  of its own technology, the remaining humans are forced to make their final stand using nothing but primitive inclined planes. They are trounced and their sinews are used to make pulleys. 



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