Little Debbie: CEO

At a board meeting...

Businessman 1: As you can see, Oatmeal Creme Pie sales are declining in the Midwest.
Little Debbie: (Plays with doll) I’m bored!
Businessman 2: Miss Debbie, it is vitally important we act on this immediately. We are in danger of losing a major part of our market share.
Little Debbie: No sharing! I want all the cookies!
Businessman 1: Miss Debbie, I think you need a timeout.
Businessman 2: (Under his breath) She is just impossible. 

 On the factory floor...

Little Debbie: Ooh cake! (Reaches into spinning Swiss Cake Roll lathe)
Factory Worker: No! (Dives onto assembly line, pushes Debbie out of the way)
Little Debbie: Why is the man so mean? (Lower lip begins to quiver)

Foreman: Miss Debbie, you must be patient. We only have so much manpower, and we are currently operating at maximum production capacity! I’m afraid we cannot increase our output without hiring more workers or compensating them for their extra time 
Little Debbie: But I want cake now! (Weeps uncontrollably)
Foreman: (Over the loudspeaker) Attention, all employees: For the remainder of the week,  all factory shifts will be extended by four hours, without overtime pay. Miss Debbie has demanded that we increase production without delay.

In the R&D Lab...

R&D Manager: Miss Debbie, we are currently working on a new cookie-cake hybrid. We’ve been testing different flavor combinations, but so far nothing has turned up.
Little Debbie: (Dips index finger into beaker and tastes a sample of an in-progress flavor experiment. Crinkles her nose). This is yucky!
R&D Manager: My sincerest apologies. (Summons the responsible cookie engineer). Jim, Miss Debbie is displeased. We’re going to have to let you go.
Jim: But I have a ph.D in food science! I’ve devoted the last twenty years of my life to creating award-winning desserts. You’ll regret this! (Turns, head down, and walks toward the exit).
R&D Manager: Wait just a minute. You know what you need to do first.
Jim: Yes, yes, of course. (Turns back around and hugs Little Debbie before leaving. Little Debbie giggles with pleasure)

At a power lunch...

Business Associate 1: Miss Debbie, you simply must try the salad. It is quite marvelous.
Little Debbie: (Fidgets in her highchair and claws at her bib).
Business Associate 2: You must excuse her. She has missed her nap, and is quite cranky.
Business Associate 1: Very well. Then perhaps we should forgo the pleasantries and move on to more important matters.
Little Debbie: (Discovers how to unbuckle herself from her highchair, and runs around the restaurant sampling from surprised customers’ meals).

At a business deal...

Rival CEO: 3 billion!
Little Debbie: (Frowns)
Rival CEO: 5 billion!
Little Debbie: (Frowns and begins to whimper)
Rival CEO: (Tickles Little Debbie)
Little Debbie: (Slowly stops crying and reluctantly smiles)
Rival CEO: That’s my little girl. (Turns to business partner). I knew she’d come around.